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Hints for dads with daughters

admin — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:35:38 +0000

1. Listen to your girl.
Concentrate on what is really fundamental – what she thinks, believes, feels, dreams and does – rather than only how she looks. You have a big influence on how she views herself. Value your girl for her true self. Give her confidence to use her natural endowments in the world.

2. Encourage her strength and celebrate her savvy.
Help her have Girl Power! Help her be Strong, Smart and Bold! Help her learn to recognize, defy and overwhelm barriers.

3. Tell her that you love her for who she is.
Maturing girls need to eat often and healthfully. Diets may increase the chance of eating disorders and other health problems. Advertisers spend trillions to convince her she doesn’t look well. Don’t buy into it and explain to her that there are many pretty, healthy body types. Warn her to love herself just the way she is. Help her to be healthy and feel good as she works within the body type with which she was born.

4. Value her uniqueness.
See her as a whole person, capable of anything – and make a point she knows that’s how you see her. Your girl may choose a life partner who behaves like you and has your valuates, so treat her and those she loves with respect. That will help your girl choose someone who respects and sustains her long after she’s left your house.

5. Help her to be physically effective.
Play catch with her, or tag, jump rope, basketball, Frisbee, hockey, football, or just take walks… Help her learn all the great things she can reach.
Playing sports can instruct girls to set goals, learn perseverance and discipline. Physically active girls are less likely to get pregnant, drop out of school, or put up with an abusive partner. Studies show that the most physically active girls have fathers who are active with them. Participating in physical activities with her is a great investiture!

6. Get involved in your daughter’s school.
Voluntary, chaperon, or read to her class. Respect her achievements. Ask tough questions, like: Does the school have and use an eating disorder prevention or body image awareness program? Does it allow sexual harassment of boys or girls? Do more guys take advanced mathematics and science classes and, if so, why? Are leastways half the student leaders girls?

7. Get involved in your daughter’s activities.
Volunteer to drive, train, direct a play, instruct a class – anything! Ask equality. Texas mortgage officer and volunteer basketball coach Dave Chapman was so appalled by the gym his 9-year-old daughter’s team had to use, he fought to open the modern “boys” gym to the girls’ team. He succeeded. Dads make a difference!

8. Help make the world better for girls.
This world does hold dangers for our daughters. But over-protection doesn’t work, and it tells your girl that you don’t trust her and her abilities! Work with other parents to Ask an end to violence against females, media sexualization of girls, pornography, advertisers making billions feeding on our daughters’ insecurities, and all “boys are more important than girls” attitudes.

9. Take your girl to work with you.
Participate in every April’s official “Take Our Daughters to Work Day” and make sure your business participates. Show her how you pay the bills and manage your money. Your daughter will have a job some day, so present her to the world of work and finances!

10. Talk to other fathers.
When you share your dedication to make the world respect and nurture our daughters, you’ll be amazed at how many other fathers agree. There’s a lot we can learn from each other. And we can have a lot of influence when we work together for our daughters’ sakes.

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Tips for effective parents – 2

admin — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 12:29:31 +0000

10. Hold family meetings. Set a specific time each week with family members to set schedules, plan fun things to do together as a family, and deal with concerns. Start with compliments and end with a snack or game.

Example: A weekly family meeting, perhaps on Sunday evening, helps everyone get organized for the week. You might use the time to share good things that happened to family members during the past week or activities members are looking forward to. This is a good time to thank each other for specific tasks they have done for the family, as well as make plans for what needs to be done during the following week. Be sure to include something fun, too.

Dealing with problems

11. Use “I” statements. Let your child know how you feel, why, and what you want them to do. “I feel when you because . This is what I want you to do .”

Example: When your daughter leaves her curling iron on, you might say, “I worry when you leave the curling iron on because it uses electricity and could start a fire. Please go turn it off right now.”

12. Use natural consequences. Let your child learn from what happens naturally without scolding, lecturing, or rescuing.

Example: When your son forgets his gloves on a cold day, let him find out how uncomfortable he gets so that he will decide on his own to remember next time. Don’t lecture!

13. Use logical consequences. Create consequences with your child for specific rules. They should be related to the rule broken, reasonable, and respectful. Remember, rules and consequences should change as your child grows and develops. However, children of all ages need rules to help provide them with structure for living. It is important that parents communicate rules and consequences clearly to their child ahead of time.

Example: If your daughter comes home late in the evening after spending time with a friend, remind her that the consequence is not getting to go out the next evening.

14. Solve problems together. Work together with your child, listening to each other’s point of view, brainstorming solutions, and choosing
options to try. As children move into the teen years it is far more effective to engage them in conversation with you to resolve issues than expect them to follow your rules without question.

Example: Your son received a low grade in social studies. Sit down together to think of ways he might improve his grade—finishing homework,
asking the teacher for help. Listen to his ideas; don’t lecture.

15. Follow through with ecisions. After an agreement has been reached, simply follow through by reminding your child about his or her agreement. Consistency day to day between parents and/or partners and across situations is an important principle for parents to keep in mind.

Example: If you child has agreed to empty the garbage after supper and you find it still under the sink, find your child and give a short reminder that the garbage still needs to be taken out. (Use as few words as possible.)

16. Wait until you are calm to deal with a problem. Do not discipline your child when you are angry. Discussing a problem when either of you is upset only leads to fighting and additional negative feelings.

Example: Your daughter sasses you when you ask her to clean her room. You’re angry but instead of getting into a fight, you tell her you’ll discuss her sassing after you’ve cooled down.

The teen years are a period of change – for you and your teen. Seek information to help you understand the changes your teen is going through and what you as a parent can do to help your teen develop positively. Talk to other parents for ideas and support. Read books on teen development. Talk to your child and work together for solutions. You may be surprised to find that
when they’re taken seriously, young people have many good ideas.

And remember, it’s never too late to try new solutions to problems with your pre- or early teen. Even though they may think they’re quite grown up, you still have a number of years to influence them and to build an even more positive relationship. Underneath your pre- or young teen is the same child you loved and guided as a baby and small child. In spite of all the challenges, the teen years can be good years for both you and your child. Seek to be a knowledgeable, thoughtful, and deliberate parent.

Tips for effective parents – 1

admin — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 12:04:06 +0000

Being the parent of a child between ages 10 and 14 is no easy task! Parents, as well as the children themselves, must get used to the youth’s rapidly changing bodies, mood swings, growing independence, and challenges to authority. No one trick or technique will work for every parent or with every young person. This fact sheet offers ideas to (a) help build positive relations between parents and youth, and to (b) deal with problems when they arise.

Build a positive relationship

1. Listen for feelings. When your child comes to you with a problem or when he or she expresses strong feelings, it helps to say something like, “Sounds like you’re feeling…” It helps him or her to know that you are trying to understand.

Example: Your son comes home fter school and says, “The teacher yelled at me today.” You might say, “Sounds like you were embarrassed.”

2. Remember preteen and teen development. Your child is going through many changes. Growing independence and challenges to
authority are normal. At this age, most youth want to be independent, spend more time with friends, and more time by themselves. Sassing
and back talk are normal even though you will probably want to let your child know that it is unacceptable.

Example: If it bothers you that your child doesn’t want to spend as much time with you, remember that this is normal and healthy. Occasionally, schedule time for you and your child, or the whole family, to have fun together.

3. Notice good behavior. Make praise specific and frequent. Young people learn better from positive actions (encouragement and extra privileges) than from negative ones (punishment or losing privileges).

Example: If your child does a good job mowing the lawn, you might say, “The lawn looks really good. You trimmed around the trees and
put the mower away. Thanks for doing such a good job.”

4. Give a reward. Use special privileges and one-on-one time to reward good behavior.

Example: If your son has argued over chores in the past, but this week follows through and gets everything done, you might let him stay up later on the weekend, have a friend over, or take a trip with you for ice cream or a soda.

5. Plan time for family fun. Time spent doing fun things together helps build a reserve of good feelings that can help you get through hard times. Let your child help plan family events and outings. Example: If you are planning a vacation, let your child order brochures and help decide where to stop and what to see.

Example: If you are planning a vacation, let your child order brochures and help decide where to stop and what to see.

6. Practice reflective listening. When you are working together with your youth to solve a problem, stop to summarize what he or she has said so your youth knows you have really heard. Resist the temptation to criticize or lecture.

Example: When your daughter says, “I hate the way I look. Everything looks dumb on me,” you might say, “Sounds like you’re pretty frustrated over the way your clothes look on you.”

7. Keep one-on-one time. Spending one-on-one time alone with your son or daughter can be a special time for both of you. That time together can let your child know you really care.

Example: Take turns with each child in the family for a special time. It could be going out for breakfast,playing a board game, or going for a hike or bike ride together.

8. Use driving time to talk. Most parents of pre- and early teens spend time driving the child to lessons, ball games or shopping. Children may be more willing to open up in this environment than when they are at home.

Example: On the way to basketball practice, say to your son or daughter, “Tell me about school today,” or ask about a favorite hobby.

9. Talk about values. Use other opportunities, such as discussions about what happened at school, in the news, or on a TV show, to talk about your values. Don’t assume your children know what you believe and consider important.

Example: After watching a TV program in which a character wrecked his car and the passenger with him was hurt, you might say, “This is an example of why we think it’s really important not to drink. How do you think the character could have handled the problem better?”

Tips for successful breastfeeding – 3

admin — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 23:38:39 +0000

Thoughtful reminders

GET LOTS OF REST
Be as good to yourself as you can. Try to nap when baby naps. Accept help with housework and meals from your partner, family and friends.
Do only what housekeeping must be done. Limit your visitors. Go to bed early.

EAT WELL
The foods you choose are important when you are breastfeeding, to ensure good health for you and your baby. Follow Canada’s Food Guide to Healthy Eating for basic nutrition and drink extra fluids to keep your milk supply adequate. The only foods you must avoid are those to which you might be allergic.

Nursing mothers are discouraged from going on weight loss diets as they may cause the milk supply to decrease. While nursing, you may gradually lose weight, and the extra weight gained during pregnancy is used to provide part of the energy needed to make breast milk.

HAVE PLENTY TO DRINK
You’ll find you are extra thirsty, so have a glass of juice, milk or water every time the baby nurses.

Remember if you smoke or drink alcohol: tobacco, alcohol and other drugs can pass into your breast milk and may harm your baby.

BE COMFORTABLE
Relax in the bathtub. It’s good therapy. Walk. Gradually resume some exercise. Plan an evening out regularly. Motherhood and fatherhood are new roles that need to be talked over and learned together. Keep the lines of communication open!

Talk to others

Personal contact with other nursing mothers is important for confident breastfeeding. Don’t keep concerns to yourself. Call a friend, La Leche League, the public health nurse, a lactation consultant or your doctor or midwife. It helps to talk to someone.

Enjoy your baby!

Holding your baby close stimulates her senses of touch, smell and taste. A baby who is smiled at, talked to and cuddled develops a sense of security. Breastfeeding is more than simply providing nutrients and calories for physical growth – it contributes to a special closeness. So have confidence in nature and in yourself and give your little one the very best start in life!

Tips for successful breastfeeding – 2

admin — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 23:19:11 +0000

Remember, it’s the law of supply and demand!

The more your baby nurses, the more milk you produce. As your baby gets older, she may nurse every three to four hours and be content. Your baby may have growth spurts in the first few months. Often they are around three weeks, six weeks, three months and six months. Frequent feedings, perhaps every one to two hours for a few days, will help increase your milk supply and satisfy her increased appetite. Remember that your baby’s nutritional needs can be completely met by your milk supply without added supplementary feedings.

The complete food

Breast milk is the most balanced food you can offer your infant! It has just the right level and quality of nutrients to suit your child’s first food
needs. It contains antibodies that reduce the likelihood of allergic reactions. Breastfeeding aids the return of the uterus to normal size, allows mom and baby to begin a special relationship, and is convenient and economical. With breastfeeding, there is no need to sterilize or warm bottles, nor are there any bottles to take when you leave home with your child. The process is simple, natural, free and safer for the environment!

Looking after mom, too

In the early days, your nipples may be tender. Because this part of the body is not usually exposed, nipples need lots of air and light to toughen.

For the first few days, expose your nipples to air or light after each feeding. Allow some breast milk to dry on your nipples; it has lubricating and anti-infective properties.

Change nursing pads when they are wet. Sometimes breasts get swollen and hurt because of increased blood supply and the accumulation of milk. This condition is called “engorged breasts.” Wearing a well-fitting bra, applying warmth using warm towels or taking warm showers to ease the milk flow, expressing some milk before feeding to relieve fullness, and nursing frequently to allow your breasts to empty will help.

Proper positioning of baby on the breast is also very important. Ask for help from the nurses to learn comfortable positions for you and your baby.

When your milk supply is established, you may learn to express or pump milk so that it can be left with a caregiver to give to the baby, and then you can get out occasionally or just have a well-deserved break.

Working and breastfeeding

It is important to understand that thefirst weeks are the learning period forboth of you, and that time, patience andhumour will solve many difficulties.

During this time, your milk supply is becoming established, soit’s difficult to have anyone but you feed the baby. After that, you can express milk manually or mechanically by using a breast pumpbefore you go to work or to school, for feedings throughout the day. Your own breast milk can be stored in the refrigerator (for up to 48 hours) or frozen. Refrigerate or freeze breast milk in plastic bottles or bags and date them. Then warm it up in hot tap water before it is used. (Using a microwave oven is not recommended.)

Breastfeeding and pregnancy

Don’t rely on the old myth that you won’t get pregnant because you are nursing! It’s not always true. It may postpone the return of ovulation
and menstruation, but ovulation can occur, so you and your partner should use precautions! Discuss birth control alternatives with your doctor.

Tips for successful breastfeeding – 1

admin — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 21:00:40 +0000

An early start is the best start

Breastfeed your baby as soon as possible after birth. Babies are often more alert and interested in feeding in the first hour following birth than later that day. Use the help of experienced nursing staff. Relax – you’re both learning! So feed often on request; perhaps every two to three hours
during the day and when baby wakes at night. Have your baby room-in with you in the hospital.

As soon as you are able to, sit to feed your baby, support your back and put a pillow on your knees for everybody’s comfort. Bring your baby to your breast rather than your breast to your baby
Hold the baby close to your body, skin to skin, tummy to tummy, face to breast, mouth to nipple.
Support your breast by holding four fingers underneath, away from the areola (dark area), with your thumb on top.
Stimulate baby’s lips gently with your nipple until his/her mouth opens as big as a yawn. Arouse your baby’s senses of taste and smell by expressing a few drops of milk.
When her mouth is open wide, pull baby towards you quickly; when the baby feels your nipple with her tongue, her lips will close over the areola and seal it; both lips should be rolled outwards. You should see the sucking motion along the jaw line.
To release the baby’s suction, gently place a finger in the corner of her mouth until you break the suction.

Getting Started

WHAT HAPPENS?
At baby’s birth your first milk is colostrum, a yellowish fluid rich in vitamins, protein and immune factors. Breastfeeding often on cue will help the milk come in gradually and the quantity to increase. As the colostrum decreases, mother’s milk may look thinner and watery, but it is your baby’s perfect miracle fast food.

Usually, the milk will be “let-down” and fill your breasts when the baby starts to suck. You may feel the tingling sensation of your milk letting down. But sometimes it happens earlier, spontaneously or in response to a baby’s cry, and the breasts fill up and leak. If your breasts should leak, tuck breast pads in your bra to absorb the extra milk.

HOW TO HOLD YOUR BABY

There are many breastfeeding positions; discover the one that is most comfortable for you and your baby. Sit up as soon as possible. If you have had a Caesarian birth, you may need help to position yourself and your baby comfortably. Get help from nurses, your doctor, midwife, or a lactation consultant.

HOW OFTEN?

Breastfed babies prefer a span of two to three hours from the beginning of one feeding to the beginning of the next. Mother’s milk is digested more easily than formula. You don’t need to give any kind of supplement – not even water. With frequent nursing, your baby will get enough nourishment. The usual pattern is this: nurse the baby on one side; then, after time out for a burp or diaper change, switch to the other side. At the next feeding, reverse the order, offering her the last used side first. Some babies prefer several “short courses,” others prefer one long feeding. Don’t rush her – take your time.

HOW MUCH?

A breastfed baby needs frequent feedings. Allowing your infant to nurse at need (ranging from eight to 12 times in a 24-hour period), will help establish your milk supply. Wake a sleepy baby during the daytime to feed her, especially if she sleeps for long stretches at night.

Your baby is likely getting enough when she has six or more wet diapers a day, has frequent bowel movements, and is gaining weight and growing longer.